Understanding the Compulsion to Over-Explain: Three Key Reasons

March 6, 2025 - 18:13

Ever feel like you explain yourself too much? The phenomenon of “shelaborating” — a blend of “sharing” and “elaborating” — can often leave individuals feeling drained and misunderstood. Here are three reasons why you might find yourself engaging in this behavior.

Firstly, the desire for clarity can drive people to over-explain their thoughts and feelings. When we worry that our message might be misinterpreted, we tend to elaborate excessively to ensure our points are understood. This need can stem from past experiences where miscommunication led to conflict or confusion.

Secondly, some individuals may feel an inherent need for validation. By providing detailed explanations, they seek reassurance that their perspectives are valued and acknowledged. This can be particularly prevalent in environments where feedback is scarce or where individuals feel their contributions are overlooked.

Lastly, anxiety plays a significant role in the tendency to shelaborate. When individuals feel uncertain or insecure, they may resort to over-explaining as a coping mechanism to alleviate their discomfort. Understanding these underlying reasons can help individuals communicate more effectively and foster healthier interactions.