Psychology professor challenges the idea that dating is a marketplace

February 15, 2026 - 13:10

New research is challenging the common notion that dating operates like a straightforward marketplace, suggesting a significant gap between what people say they want and who they actually choose. This insight questions the effectiveness of the detailed filters used by modern online dating platforms.

Dr. Paul Eastwick, a psychology professor, highlights this paradox. He explains that while individuals can easily list desired traits in an ideal partner—such as height, education, or specific hobbies—these stated preferences are poor predictors of real-world attraction and connection. The filters on dating apps, built on this logic, often screen out potential partners with whom a person might experience genuine chemistry.

The core of the issue lies in the difference between our conscious ideals and our unconscious responses. When meeting someone in person, intangible factors like conversational flow, physical chemistry, and shared humor frequently override a checklist of attributes. A person might claim to prioritize a certain trait but find themselves deeply attracted to someone who lacks it entirely, based on a felt sense of compatibility that defies simple categorization.

This research encourages singles to look beyond rigid criteria. It suggests that success in finding a partner may depend more on openness to unexpected connections than on meticulously searching for a predetermined set of characteristics. The complex nature of human attraction continues to resist being neatly packaged into algorithmic predictions.