How to Improve Sleep Quality While Coping With Grief and Loss

29 April 2025

Grief is one of the most challenging emotions to navigate. Losing someone or something deeply meaningful can leave you feeling emotionally drained, lost, and overwhelmed. And one of the first things to take a hit? Your sleep.

Tossing and turning at night or waking up repeatedly can feel like an added punishment when you're already struggling emotionally. But let me tell you—you're not alone in this. Grief disrupts sleep for many, and the good news is that there are ways to improve your sleep quality even while going through such a difficult time.

In this post, we’ll dive into why grief affects sleep and, more importantly, what you can do to rest better while coping with loss.

Why Grief Disrupts Sleep

Grief doesn’t just affect your emotions; it impacts your body, brain, and nervous system. Sleep and grief are deeply connected, and here’s why:

1. Emotional Overload

Losing someone you love is emotionally exhausting. Your mind is flooded with memories, regrets, or even guilt. Trying to process this while lying in bed often leads to racing thoughts, making it impossible to fall asleep.

2. Increased Stress and Anxiety

When you experience grief, your body produces more cortisol—the stress hormone. Too much cortisol can leave you feeling anxious, restless, and unable to wind down at night.

3. Depression and Sleep Disturbances

Grief and depression often go hand in hand. Depression can lead to insomnia or, in some cases, excessive sleeping. Either way, it disrupts your body’s natural sleep-wake cycle.

4. Physical Symptoms

Heartache isn’t just an expression—it’s real. Grief can cause physical pain, including chest tightness, headaches, and body aches, making it hard to relax and sleep.

How to Improve Sleep Quality While Coping With Grief

Now that we know why grief affects sleep, let’s talk about what you can do to improve your rest. These strategies can help you get the sleep your body desperately needs to heal.

1. Create a Comforting Bedtime Routine

A bedtime routine signals to your body that it's time to wind down. Try incorporating calming activities before bed, such as:

- Reading a lighthearted book
- Taking a warm bath
- Listening to calming music or guided meditation
- Sipping a cup of herbal tea (chamomile is great for relaxation)

Consistency is key, so aim to follow the same routine each night for better sleep quality.

2. Journaling Before Bed

If your thoughts are racing, try writing them down. Journaling before bed can help clear your mind and process emotions in a healthier way. You don’t have to write a novel—just jotting down how you feel or what you’re thinking about can make a difference.

3. Limit Screen Time at Night

Scrolling through your phone late at night might seem like a distraction, but it actually makes it harder to sleep. The blue light from screens interferes with melatonin production, the hormone that helps regulate sleep.

Try putting your phone away at least an hour before bed. Instead, opt for activities that promote relaxation, like reading or meditating.

4. Practice Deep Breathing and Meditation

Grief can make your mind feel like a storm—chaotic and uncontrollable. Deep breathing exercises and meditation can help calm that storm.

A simple breathing exercise to try:

1. Inhale deeply through your nose for 4 seconds
2. Hold for 4 seconds
3. Exhale slowly through your mouth for 6 seconds
4. Repeat for a few minutes until you feel more relaxed

Apps like Calm or Headspace offer guided meditations specifically designed for sleep and emotional healing.

5. Create a Safe and Relaxing Sleep Environment

Your bedroom should be your sanctuary—a place that invites rest. To make it as sleep-friendly as possible:

- Keep the room dark (blackout curtains work wonders)
- Maintain a cool, comfortable temperature
- Use white noise or soft music if silence feels unsettling
- Invest in a quality mattress and pillows for better comfort

6. Get Sunlight and Stay Active

Grief can make you want to hide under the covers all day, but getting some sunlight and movement can help regulate your internal clock.

Try stepping outside for at least 15–30 minutes in the morning. Gentle exercises like walking or yoga can also help regulate sleep patterns and boost your mood.

7. Avoid Stimulants Before Bed

Caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol can interfere with sleep quality. While alcohol might make you feel drowsy, it can disrupt your sleep cycle and cause more frequent wake-ups.

If possible, avoid these stimulants in the late afternoon and evening. Instead, switch to herbal teas or warm milk before bed for a calming effect.

8. Seek Support—You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

Grief isn’t something you have to carry alone. Talking to someone—whether it’s a trusted friend, family member, or therapist—can ease some of the emotional weight that keeps you up at night.

Support groups can also help. Connecting with others who understand what you’re going through can be comforting and reassuring.

9. Give Yourself Grace and Time

Lastly, be patient with yourself. Healing takes time. Some nights will be tough, and that’s okay. Your sleep won’t magically improve overnight, but taking small steps every day can make a difference.

Instead of judging yourself for struggling, remind yourself that sleep difficulties are a normal part of grief. With time and self-care, your body and mind will eventually find their rhythm again.

When to Seek Professional Help

If your sleep problems persist for months and start interfering with your daily life, it might be time to seek professional help. Signs that you may need extra support include:

- Persistent insomnia despite trying multiple strategies
- Feeling exhausted or drained throughout the day
- Increasing anxiety, depression, or feelings of hopelessness
- Using medication, alcohol, or other substances to fall asleep

A therapist, counselor, or sleep specialist can help you navigate both grief and sleep disruptions in a healthy way.

Final Thoughts

Grief is a painful journey, and sleep struggles can make it even harder. But remember, rest is essential for healing—not just physically, but emotionally too.

By creating a comforting bedtime routine, practicing relaxation techniques, and prioritizing self-care, you can slowly regain better sleep.

Take it one night at a time. You deserve rest, and you will find peace again.